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Dating Site for Single Parents – PR.com

When you get into conflict with your children, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world, or even miserable, take a look at the following list of ground rules for fair fighting.  Read the full story

First-Time Research Reveals Staggering Annual Taxpayer Costs for Divorce and Unwed Childbearing

WASH. D.C.  In first-ever research, a new report quantifies a minimum $112 billion annual taxpayer cost from high rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing. It identifies national, state and local costs which account for more than $1 trillion in the last decade.  This landmark scholarly study, entitled “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States,” was released on April 15th at the National Press Club by four renowned policy and research groups—Institute for American Values, Georgia Family Council, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest.

“This study documents for the first time, that divorce and unwed childbearing—besides being bad for children—are also costing taxpayers a ton of money,” said David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values.  “Even a small improvement in the health of marriage in America would result in enormous savings to taxpayers,” he continued. “For example, a 1 percent reduction in rates of family fragmentation would save taxpayers $1.1 billion.”

“These costs are due to increased taxpayer expenditures for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs, and through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose adult productivity has been negatively affected by increased childhood poverty caused by family fragmentation,” said principal investigator Ben Scafidi, Ph.D., economics professor at Georgia College & State University.

“Prior research shows that marriage lifts single mothers out of poverty and therefore reduces the need for costly social benefits,” said Scafidi. “This new report shows that public concern about the decline of marriage need not be based only on ‘moral’ concerns, but that reducing high taxpayer costs of family fragmentation is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers and legislators, as well as community reformers and faith communities.”

“This report now provides the basis for a national consensus that strengthening marriage is a legitimate policy concern,” said Blankenhorn. “The report’s numbers represent an extremely cautious estimate, a lower-bound figure, and have been vetted by a group of distinguished scholars and economists who have attached their names as advisors to this report.”

“These numbers represent real people and real suffering,” said Randy Hicks, president of Georgia Family Council. “Both economic and human costs make family fragmentation a legitimate public concern. Historically, Americans have resisted the impulse to surrender to negative and hurtful trends. We fight problems like racism, poverty and domestic violence because we understand that the stakes are high. And while we’ll never eliminate divorce and unwed childbearing entirely, we can certainly be doing more to help marriages and families succeed.”

The full report, press kit, and video of the press conference at the National Press Club are available at www.americanvalues.org.

For the first time ever researchers have now proven the cost of divorce in America.

Dr. Ben Scafidi, an economist, led the research. Stay tuned for more.

MEDIA ADVISORY

WHAT:    New, groundbreaking report: “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States.”  The report quantifies for the first time the astounding cost to government for family fragmentation; and is published by a coalition of research and policy groups—Institute for American Values, Georgia Family Council, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest.

WHO:      Panelist include:

• David Blankenhorn, president, Institute for American Values,
• Randy Hicks, president, Georgia Family Council,
• Maggie Gallagher, president, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy,
• Jeff Kemp, president, Families Northwest
• Ben Scafidi, Ph.D., economics professor at Georgia College and State University, and principal investigator of the report.

DATE:     Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

WHEN:    9 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. (Coffee and registration at 8:30)

WHERE:     The National Press Club in the Holeman Lounge
529 14th Street, N.W., Washington, D.C.

Q: We just started dating. We don’t want to have sex, but I’m concerned that it might just happen. Do you have some advice for us?Watch Michael and Amy Smalley’s Answer
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USA Today snapshots for June 14, 2007 reveals some interesting information on the close to 160,000 stay-at-home dads in our country:

60% have two or more children

40% have an annual family income of $50,000 or more

35% have children younger than 3 living with them

All this information takes me back to when I was a stay-at-home dad. I was not making $50,000 or more and I had exactly two kids at home (Both in diapers!). I think more men need to step up to the plate and help take care of the children.

I know there are many men who would hate the idea of staying at home, but sometimes a family needs to be smart and not fundamental when it comes providing for the family. The reality is, women have greater opportunities today to succeed at work.

There is nothing wrong with a man taking care of the kids full-time at home. He can provide for his family by working or staying at home, either way is just as important and masculine.

One of the most powerful ways for you to gain control and harmony in your household is to create a family contract. What is a family contract you ask? It’s not a legal document, per se, but it is a set of rules and guidelines that help govern your family so you can start enjoying each other instead of fighting each other.

A family contract replaces the guessing game when it comes to discipline. Parents often find themselves trying to come up with new and creative ways to punish their children when rules are broken, the family contract ends that way of life. The family contract also puts the ownership of discipline on the child’s head and off of the parent. What?

One of the most powerful features of creating a family contract is that you sit down as a family and decide what the consequences of breaking the rules of the family are, in fact, the kids are the ones who are coming up with the consequences. The parents simply need to ask the question, “What do you think should be the consquence if you don’t do your chores for the day” or “What should be the consequence of you dishonoring your sister or father?”

When you allow your child to come up with the consequence he will accept the consquence better, and then you can become his ally rather than his enemy.

The key features of a family contract

I usually recommend starting a family contract around age five. The contract at this age is typically simple, obey God, our parents, and be kind to people and things like you learn in Matthew 22:37-39.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (New Living Translation)

I always tell parents to have a single piece of paper when they hold their family meeting and to draw a line down the center of the paper. On the left side of the paper will be the expectations of the family. On the right side of the paper will be the consequences.

At this point it is important to establish the priorities of the family. What is most important to your family? Is it money? Is it cleaning? Is it possessions? Is it each other? Is it God?

For my family I want to make sure my children know that God is most important in our lives, then each other, then others, and then ourselves. So we start our family contract with honoring God and we explain what that means (I don’t write that down on the contract, but my children know what it means). Then we have honoring others (this includes family and friends). Then we go to honoring themselves.

On the right side of the paper we write down what the consequences of breaking those expectations would be, and this is when you ask your children to seriously participate. The consequences should be the worst for breaking these first expectations.

After you’ve accomplished this, you move on to the chores and other unique things of your family contract, but remember, your family contract should never go over one page of an 8.5 by 11 sheet of paper. If it does, you’ve gone overboard. Also, your consequences should fit the expectation. If your child receives the exact same punishment for dishonoring God as he does for not doing his chores, then you’ve missed the point.

Family contracts, if given a chance, will increase the harmony in your home. I know, because they’ve worked for us